Parallel lives

Featured

womENspire 1.0 and 2.0

As I mentioned in my first ENspire piece, I’m going to use the Netflix series The Bold Type both for ESL learning as well as for discussing female topics. The womENspire sessions starting with 1.0 are going to contain the former, while the ones starting with 2.0 are going to be about the latter.

Before I jump into it, though, I must share some of my ideas connected to the reception and criticism the series received to explain why I’m still going to stick to it in spite of any negative or unenthusiastic response in the media. I’m well aware that the characters, the setting, the plot and the overall controversial or even provocative questions and issues can be considered way too idealized and not entirely in touch with reality, and I agree – this is certainly true, we don’t even need to look very closely at the details.

However, according to Wittgenstein, “idealism leads to realism if it is strictly thought out” – whenever we reach for something better, something higher, something more noble, worthier, it’s impossible to do so without creating the dream, the ideal, the yet unseen but still possible. To quote another famous individual, “if you can dream it, you can do it” – and Walt Disney obviously could.

So, all in all, if we focus on the subject matter and the broader and meaningful messages of the series, we might be better off overlooking the occasional superficialities for the more inspiring and constructive goal of learning about new angles, new viewpoints, contemporary debates and discourses and – most importantly – about ourselves. Also, from a linguistic point of view, the series presents a massive source of contemporary real-life English vocabulary that people actually use and that we cannot come across in academic documents, poetry, professional manuals or English textbooks.

So…

I’m in for the adventure – are you?

Featured

ENspire intro

I have long been wondering what else I could do with all my experience in education as well as being a mum of three beautiful kids, an older sister of three fantastic siblings, a caring friend of a number of precious people as well as a loving and loyal partner of a gorgeous guy and now I feel I’ve come up with a possible goal.

On the one hand, I’m deeply passionate about English as a Second Language and I live this passion daily – fortunately, this is my job: to help people become more advanced speakers and users of English.

On the other hand, I’ve always been interested in and touched by feminine issues and stories: growing as women, having different female roles in life like giving, nurturing, taking care and sharing, understanding the nature of female beauty, understanding the nature of love and what we expect from it as women, expressing ourselves as women and also challenging ourselves as women.

I’ve come across the Netflix series The Bold Type and I really feel it is motivational and inspiring enough to write about and also to learn English with. Consequently, this is what I’m trying to do in the next couple of weeks: combine feminine issues with ESL learning and see if I can get inspired and also inspiring enough to continue.

The posts are intended to appear weekly and comments are obviously welcome – if and only if they keep to a high level of politeness and intelligence without being offensive, political or aggressive. Thanks in advance! Please also note that this is not a blog to promote, advertise or sell any product.

Let’s get started!

Featured

My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

This is supposed to be the first post on my new blog (it wasn’t but I’ll share it now) and I found the Oscar Wilde quote here prepared for me. However, I’ll keep it because this is exactly what I plan to write about: in what ways and in how many ways you can be yourself. For me, books, movies, poems, exhibitions, in short: cultural influences mean the stimuli to be and to develop myself in different ways so my blog is going to be about such sources of inspiration.
I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

womENspire 2.1

The Bold Type Season 1, Episode 1: Intro

Three women standing at a New York metro station holding hands and screaming together as the train is passing by – that’s how The Bold Type introduces its heroines. Holding hands – yes, not only a physical act but also a symbolic gesture of female bonding, solidarity, cooperation and compassion, i.e., the strength you can become empowered with when you get lucky and find supportive women around you who help transform yourself into an ever-better version of you. At least, that’s how I view female friendship that I have experienced I can always count on.

We are meeting Jane, Kat and Sutton as they are entering an office building and celebrating Jane’s appointment to be a writer at Scarlet magazine after having been an assistant for the previous four years. Again, female solidarity – being able to feel joy over the joy of another, a typically and traditionally feminine characteristic: no male competition but kindness and positive energy. (Naturally, I’m exaggerating just like the movie keeps idealizing girl power, however, it feels good. 🙂 )

Jane – a young woman having lost a mother early on in her life, striving to become more professional at her job, to meet the (imaginary) expectations of her boss, to find her voice as a writer (not at all an easy task when you wish to speak out and make things matter and you also want to feel heard) and to seek for the strong woman in control that she is gradually turning into as the series unfolds.

Kat – the ever brave and often fiery feminist fighting for the different rights of various representatives of society, always ready for new challenges, the absolute Millennial in total control of social media and cutting-edge technology with an open and caring heart as well as an adventurous and rebellious mind. She refers to herself as a feminist and political proud hetero and we’ll see how much of that is true in the long run.

Sutton – the sensitive but also rationalist red-haired beauty working immensely hard to fulfil her dreams while also keeping a sharp eye on the practical side of life, having a flair for finance but also flirting with the idea of becoming a fashion designer, a combination of practicality and idealism, who is also committing herself to an office romance, which turns out to be more than a simple liaison and which also gives us an insight into the difficulties of balance of power at the workplace.

The intro episode also displays a number of side characters like Jacqueline, Adena, Richard and Alex, who are also going to be more than just side characters since all of them bear a significant role in the lives of the girl trio as well as having their own story.

As for Jacqueline – she is the absolute symbol of the self-made woman shown first in the scene of a general meeting of staff. As the head of Scarlet, she is depicted as The Strong Woman: witty, talented, experienced, fearless, conscious of her position, strength and influence but also kind-hearted and caring even as a boss. Everything around her raises questions of the 21^st century like “How can a woman blossom her talent?”, “How can a woman blossom her talent in her career as well as in her personal life?”, “How can a woman balance her career goals and private life to create a fulfilling existence?”, “How does a woman work as a boss?”, “What can be the stages of development towards becoming a powerful woman?”, “What are the motives and tools of a woman today to create a cooperative community?”, “How can you create and stand up for values that matter?”, etc. All these questions and more have been with us since and even before feminism appeared but as our life today is changing ever so rapidly, they are still valid, and we are still seeking answers just like Jane, Kat and Sutton.

Adena is first mentioned as a lesbian Muslim photographer with whom the magazine had some legal issue and whose pictures would not be published. The Scarlet meeting scene where Kat intervenes and tells her opinion about this reveals much more about her than Adena, but we also see later how the two of them get in touch and connect, and how Adena is gradually becoming more than just a job for Kat – on the one hand, she is a mixed-identity woman evolving into something like a “mentor” for Kat, on the other hand, she faces serious social problems not just in her home country but in the US as well, thus giving us some insight into racial discrimination still present in the “land of the free”. Actually, this is a point worth elaborating on a bit more since when Adena is put in custody in Iran because of owning vibrators, which is illegal in her home country, there are some references to US diplomacy “saving” her but later episodes don’t hesitate to show the conservative, homophobic shades of US society and politics, either. I have mentioned this because there are some negative criticisms about The Bold Type stating the series depicts topics in a too idealized, non-complicated and superficial way, however, Adena’s storyline can be a proof that these opinions are far from being totally valid. Also, as the story moves on and Adena’s character unfolds, she is turning into a rather complex figure instead of the simplified cliché as she is introduced.

Richard – the high-flyer whose romance with Sutton is pictured as a complicated but beautifully evolving relationship, in which both members are striving to be equal partners despite their different positions at work, despite the hidden nature of their love at work, despite their age difference and despite their – at times – contrasting life goals. As their relationship is gradually becoming more than just a fling or an office romance, we can follow a continuous and open negotiation about how they can accommodate to their mutual as well as individual needs, expectations and dreams. To be honest, I have found this discourse one of the most touching elements of the series: the way two people in love are trying to balance practical reality, emotions, goals and situations and keep putting really hard work into building a relationship they both believe in. Their utter frankness is sometimes even crushing and difficult for them to handle but in the end – up to one crucial point – they can make it work. And of course, as her love with Richard is a most significant part of Sutton’s life, we get to know her character deeper and deeper as the drama unfolds.

Alex – at this point he seems to be just a side character adding only some contours and shades to the colourful and buzzing canvas of the girl trio, but he is not by chance pictured as a black male writer at a women’s magazine. His skin colour as well as his gender and his job will all turn out to help the movie raise significant contemporary issues, if only a bit superficially at times. However, he has a lovely and supportive personality and, as such, can boost our confidence that there are still gentlemen (and smart ones at that) out there.

The fashion closet – the perfect background scene which discloses for the audience the secret yearnings, dreams, problems, conflicts, mistakes and questions of our heroines. An intimate and very female space within the tough arena of work life where the girls can lose all pretence and share their true selves, reveal their authentic core, get rid of all metaphorical mascara before they turn to face their macrocosm full of expectations and battles to fight and win. It seems like a nice twist to establish a fashion closet as the spot for uncovering true identities and stripping one’s personality naked when in real life everything in a fashion closet exists for the sole purpose of covering all this – or are they? Do clothes and accessories play a role in a woman’s life to cover or to empower the real us?

By introducing the introductory episode, I hope I have either given you the right impression and incentive why you should plunge into it asap or have helped to add inspiration to your own questions and topics that have come up after watching this piece. In either case, be the bold type and keep watching as well as reading.

womENspire 1.1

I promised a weekly post on my ideas and ESL learning tasks connected to The Bold Type series when I first talked about this project here before Christmas. I must confess, the festive period diverted my energy as well as my interests towards celebrations, meetings (and “eatings” 🙂 ) rather than writing so I’m really sorry I haven’t come up with this undertaking at the right time. However, there is no time like the present to actually publish the first vocab task related to the first episode of the first season. Here is a possibility to develop some English vocab when watching the Intro part. Enjoy!
https://wordwall.net/resource/40911872/the-bold-type-vocab-s1e1

Dance Magic

Part 1: Folk dance – folk friends

It was already at the age of 16 that I could first try dancing and it only happened because I took part in a student exchange program. I was part of a group of about 20 girls and boys from our high school who could go and live with a couple of Welsh families near Llandeilo for ten days and so we had to bring something as a present – Hungarian folk dance seemed just perfect. By then I had already expressed my wish to my parents many times that I really wanted to do some dancing but nobody let me – they said I should study, help at home and be quiet. Now I know they probably didn’t have the energy to schedule my yearnings but at the time I felt quite neglected, unloved even as there never seemed to be time for my aspirations. Anyway, I got into the dance group who were supposed to amaze the Welsh audience and although none of us had danced ever before, our Welsh families were pleased enough with us when we got there. Apparently, these dance classes were a chance for me to totally fall in love with dancing once and for all.

I danced through the next 11 years into an entirely brave new world where I made fantastic friendships and attained good endurance but most important of all I learned that the best thing about dancing is the process of doing it. Fortunately, I bumped into a group of people during university who I could connect to on various levels and together we created a dance community whose members have been in touch for the past 17 years. I have always been absolutely grateful for my dancing friends because they gave me the first chance ever to really feel part of a community as a precious and loved member. From then on, I could start becoming the person I am meant to be and this is thanks to my friends and thanks to dancing.

Our group never aspired to show what we do – we danced because it was important for us and because we simply had fun in each others’ company. Although we had set dance classes three times a week, it didn’t really mean much because we got down to our club every single night and learned new steps from around six till midnight or later if we felt like it. Of course, we had to get up in the morning and go to our seminars just like everyone else but dancing was such motivation and gave us such energy that this way of life felt absolutely normal. It was normal. I don’t remember being tired: I was living in a constant flow of joy.

Our dance teacher was also a special person and I think we all feel grateful for him, too. Jani was comfortable in different dance styles, not just folk dance, which fascinated us and it also meant that through his knowledge we could get a glimpse of a wider context. He gave us tips that made us more conscious of our body and he could also illustrate different interpretations of connection between leaders and followers. Jani’s experience and knowledge of dance culture and communities in different regions in Transsylvania and Hungary broadened our horizons. His open, kind and deeply humane personality is still an example for me and I guess, for many of us.

Dance steps were the first to lead us to form a great community but it soon became clear that we shared much more. We had never-ending discussions and arguments about how we should lead our lives, how we should work, love and create a better future. We had a serious intention to stay in touch and even to form a community of brethren helping each other. Naturally, this didn’t happen in the way we planned: we never bought common land or even stayed close to each other geographically but in our hearts we are still there for each other and I am absolutely certain that in any case of need I could count on any of these friends of mine even if we hadn’t talked for some time. The fact in itself that once we had real intentions to live a noble, eco-friendly and honest life has always served as a compass for me. The experience of shared love and respect has, too.

As I was expecting my first child, I had to stop dancing and my three pregnancies created a long gap between my dancing years. As a mother of three I have gained fantastic experiences and an even deeper love of and zest for life, but all this has also transformed me to become a much stronger woman. This change has affected my “dancing career” and although when I tried folk dance again after 7 years, I felt as if I had been missing a body part for a long time, I had to give it up. I simply realized that the rigid rules and traditions of Hungarian folk dance affecting the woman in the process of dancing limit my freedom, which I cannot bear any more. It took me a long time till I found my other true love again in terms of dance styles but now I even have three so there is nothing to complain about. 🙂

To be continued…

A Doll’s House

This post is not going to be about Ibsen’s Nora and it is going to be about Ibsen’s Nora in a way. A doll’s house was my all-the-time-favourite wish for Christmas when I was a child but I never got one. It’s not a complaint, just a simple fact because I did get a lot of fantastic presents every time, houses even but it’s funny how this past need for some toy has surfaced in an all-time passion. I have always loved wandering around without purpose and coming across random houses on the way. The fact that I was “on the road” was just as important as measuring up these houses and imagining what possible lives could be lived in either of them. Who live here? Why did they paint the fence red instead of blue? What colour curtain do they use? Why did they choose this house to live in? All these practical questions were leading up to this game where I could imagine the inhabitants of a house or imagine myself living in the given house. Many times we used to play this game with my dad when we were going home on Saturdays (I was a one-day-a-week-only kid for him and it was always a Saturday, strictly from 8 am to 6 pm, not more, not less). It was funny, inspiring and engaging so I have kept this habit on: I still move around a lot just to examine different houses from the outside and guess what and who their appearances hide.

I also remember myself as a kid playing with my duplo farmhouse (it was a big thing in the Hungary of the 1980s) all the time. My mum kept it and gave it to my own kids some 25 years later. It was funny to realise how significant it has always been in my life to build a house, to play family. When I was a teenager I kept on searching for the imaginary history of houses in the streets I was passing by, just as the most crucial topic we discussed with my high school best friend was how we were going to raise our kids – houses and family all the time. This was the period I grabbed each and every piece of home design magazine I could lay my hands on and I still love them, but this passion doesn’t have anything to do with practical knowledge. Instead, they fuel my dreams and imagination creating my dream life, goals I want to reach. Such magazines raise my self-awareness and bring my secret wishes to the surface. Just like my caleidoscope: when I have a problem or thoughts to chew on, I still get down and play with the caleidoscope my dad brought from the USSR and just as its pieces of glass make up a picture for me, so do my thoughts form a pattern and I can come up with some solution or another that soothes me for the time being. Strange, isn’t it? But useful, too even though all this just seems idling from the outside and we know how critical people are with others “doing nothing”. (As I know how fruitful it is, I always let my children “do nothing” when they want to and surprise, surprise, each time they emerge from this reverie with something creative. Lucky guys.)

Getting back to houses, I have always had this strong image how I want my home to look like a house in a kid’s picture book: friendly lights glistening from the windows, a nice country house with a little garden at the front full of flowers. So that when I turn the page and see it, I know it’s home and I have arrived where I have always longed to be. I think we have succedded in creating a house like that for our kids with my husband: it’s really cosy, magical even, and its garden is lush enough (although I still see a lot that need changes). However, in the meantime I have come to feel a little trapped in it. I have been the soul of this house for long, which is one of the best roles a woman can have, in my opinion. Now that my roles have broadened and I can have some time on my own, I find it challenging how to fit my new interests and creative energy into the life my family (mostly my husband) expects me to have. It’s not that I have weird things in mind, it’s just that when you are Nora for a long time, people closest to you know you as their Nora. Then you realize that you are not just somebody’s Nora but a lot more and you want your creativity to come to the surface in new forms. So, you have this intuition that you becoming more than just Nora will make you face difficulties created by people who cannot accept easily that you need more space in life, you need to be more than what they expect from you.
So how is it possible to break out from a doll’s house without ruining it? Because that’s what I’m doing now: balancing between expectations, routines on the one hand and new wishes, dreams, powers and self-consciousness on the other hand. Plus the inborn need to place others’ best interests before mine and also the crucial need to be who I am meant to be (if there is such a thing at all). Any chance I can manage? 😉

A Birthday Wish

I’m 39 and it’s not the number of years that makes me sad and lonely today. No, because the early parts of my 39 years were full of difficulties and conflicts, most of which I have overcome and since then I have created a wonderful family. I live with my three children who I love with all my heart, they are the most precious treasures of my life. They have given me the most joy and it is so uplifting to live with them every day, I’m ever so grateful. They have been shaping me since they were born and thanks to this process I have become a much better person – a person I appreciate, love and think highly of. They have made me nearly invincible – at least that’s how I feel on my good days.
However, I’ve lost the love of some people lately and been feeling quite lonely, even abandoned sometimes although none of them have left me – probably their love wasn’t even there as I imagined it to be but I believed it was. It’s more likely that it’s always been there: them not taking part in my life as much as they should or should have (I just willed to see something else – now I’m happier facing it, previously I was happier not wanting to know). I force myself to see now that they are not interested in the depths of my personality – all the layers I treasure in myself are yet unopened and apart from my really close friends, there is nobody now in my life who would actually want to see everything that is me. I feel all the strength, all the giving in me and that I only use it to give it to my children and a few close friends now. I appreciate that, I love the deep bonds I have created with each of them and all of them at the same time but as the woman I have blossomed into I so much miss the need of another to want to know and accept and maybe even love me for what I really am.
Also, now that I let myself see how much they are not interested in my soul, I have also stopped pumping energy into unfruitful relationships as I used to do. I was always there, always trying to see how I could help and love them more. I don’t do it now, which makes our everyday connections colder, more distant and formal or in one particular case, practically non-existent. On the one hand, it’s liberating from all the depressing expectations they have had towards me, but on the other hand my giving self has to find new channels where I can share my love with others who might be open to it. Probably that’s why I started this blog, too: I have an elemental force in me to share thoughts, ideas and through them: my love, my care towards life, towards the world, towards other fellow human beings- towards anyone that comes across what I do, what I am.
I still ache inside, I guess it’s going to be a long process to digest how I am not wanted by some I wished to share everything with but I know (“with a little help from my friends” Beatles) I will manage, I know I will cope and not by turning into a cold and lonely stone but by learning to adapt and become even more a cheerful fire that heats whoever comes closer as much as they want to be heated, warmed, comforted or just cheered. (It’s an inspiring thought by one of the best Hungarian poets, Sándor Weöres who says “be as much a fire as others need you to be: those who come closer will get more of your heat and those who stay further will get less”, this is not an exact translation but the summary of his thoughts.) I know I will be able to turn my feelings of lack into fruitful love again as I’m a female alchemist (just like most productive and strong women are) but the road is yet ahead and at this point I have this one wish for me on my birthday: let me be strong enough to achieve this and create gold from ashes… Let me be a phoenix and start a new life from my own ashes if need be. (Yes, I know it has turned out to be a dramatic ending and I hate much drama, especially about myself but for just this once, please. 🙂 )

Mon inconnue

The actual reason why I started writing about parallel lives and a blog about inspiration was a movie I saw two weeks ago: “Mon inconnue” or “Love at Second Sight”.

I guess everyone who has ever seen a French movie knows that they are different. There is a fantastic amount of talking, discussion, dialogue and philosophy in good French movies (not that I have seen any that was bad), which I simply adore. Of course they use metaphors, visual images, music, good storyline, etc. necessary for any art film to be high quality and exciting but for me the most important stuff in them are the words and the meaning (the same things that freak others out.)

“Mon inconnue” is love at first sight, I can assure you. The story starts with a commonplace situation: great love, success, sacrifices, lack of attention on one side, a feeling of neglect on the other, the couple is on the verge of breakup. Then comes the twist when the hero finds himself in a parallel world and has to work hard and give up a lot to reach a happy ending on a much higher moral level than where he was at the beginning of the movie. The ending might be corny for some but this is also a French speciality: to mix sadness, bitterness, pleasure and fun so that you get a balanced outcome and has learned something new – maybe even about yourself.

This movie has made me realize that a perfect life is only accessible to those chosen ones who work hard for it to turn it into a perfect life for themselves. For us, simple human beings there is a balance given and if you get much of one thing, you’ll lose something on another side of your life to keep this equilibrium. Maybe some people might think this is just irrational reasoning or a false justification to deceive myself but I don’t believe so. At least, I need this theory to give me comfort and a meaningful guide when I face some facts of my life that are difficult to accept when I don’t have much chance at the moment to change them. I have made some compromises in my life lately that, sadly, close some doors but open up others at the same time and the movie together with the meaning I have come to realize with its help have given me much comfort and even a happy peace to let some things go but also become stronger in sticking to what I truly consider meaningful in my life. Merci beaucoup, Hugo Gélin.

The Last Morning in Paris

As exciting as this title may look, beware as this will be a post about a book and, sadly, not Paris… (But I hope to write one about Paris, too, sooner or later. 🙂 )

I left my last post promising to reveal which book has helped me understand what it might mean to shape our destiny. So this is what I’ll do as a promise is a promise although the book is only available in Hungarian at the moment. However, I hope it will more than soon be translated into foreign languages because it is truly inspiring. The author is a contemporary Hungarian designer, painter and writer named Tamás Náray who has written three novels so far. The one I am talking about here is The Last Morning in Paris (this is the Hungarian title, it might be something else when translated, who knows). The book tells the (quite unusual) story of a designer starting with his childhood and discussing in details how he managed to get to the top of his career and beyond. Naturally, it is absolutely autobiographical, no question. The storyline and the structure of the novel are not linear and it helps if you know something about the canvas: Hungary in the Socialist era and the 1980s and 1990s (together with the 1989/90 political transition towards democracy).

What is really fascinating for me is the personal evolution of the main character, Dávid Dárnay who is Náray’s alter ego. It is overwhelming to see such a complex character develop throughout the different phases of his life, the way he turns every chance into a step towards his goals even if the random events do not seem to have any importance at first. He strives for freedom on different levels with exceptionally great inner force and determination (freedom from his parents’ expectations, freedom from being defined by set rules either at home or abroad or in a relationship, freedom to develop his inner motives into creation, etc.) and does not hesitate to pay whatever price is needed in order to get better in what he wants to achieve. The energy he puts into his work is rarely seen – he is the exception in a lot of ways. As he moves on, I can clearly see a destiny designed and also portrayed exceptionally well and carefully: the reader can follow with his/her own eyes how a life full of seemingly wandering routes turns into a meaningful creation of the character’s own doing through his powerful inner forces.

The novel has turned my eye on my own life to examine how much effort I put in my own projects and it was humiliating to see that it’s far from enough. I often find petty excuses or give up goals or even get tired of the small steps leading to a yet far-ahead goal. It was definitely a point of honest (and thus difficult) confrontation with myself that made my see how little I value my efforts and how little I use my talents. I think the most important lesson this has taught me is not to give up but help my own inner driving forces stimulate and bring about what talents I still have hidden and unused. Sometimes I used to feel this could only happen if I had parallel lives because I already have so many roles and expectations I need to meet. I’m sure many women know what I mean. (OK, maybe even some men do, too.) (Sorry, guys.) However, Náray has opened my eyes that I can prioritize as well as put in so much more effort into what I really wish to do and then I will be able to do it!

I can only advise you to read the book (or find ways to help me translate it for you 🙂 ) – it will change your life as well, I can promise. 🙂

Parallel lives

I don’t know about you but I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of parallel lives: lives with me being the main character but leading them in an extraordinarily different way. Even now, when I am one and only (for someone or maybe more people), I have different roles and I behave differently in lots of situations although my personality is absolutely coherent. I am a mum, a wife, a teacher, a friend, I do swing, gardening, reading, housework, studies, etc. and let every bit of influence affect my integrated personality to develop in some way. However, as I am a coherent somebody, I have a set of convictions I live by and these might be formed by some books, movies, photos, people, etc. but their core and the inherence of it all does not change dramatically. When I crave for parallel lives, I mean that (in theory) I would be interested in living different lives to see what it would feel like not to be me, or to be a different me. It’s not exactly me who interests me in these alternative realities but the life I could create with choices different from the ones I have made so far. Whenever I make a decision, only one way opens up, all the other alternative paths are shut down and this is how a person develops and creates (or undergoes) his or her life. The idea that I could start again and make different choices is absorbing in itself and also because I would be deeply excited by the other possibilities of my life that can never happen. If I make my own choices or my decisions are set or coded is a question I cannot answer but I would make a rough guess that they are both. Just as Forrest Gump’s message goes: we are partly blown by the wind and partly determined by our circumstances and personality. However, a famous and very inspiring Hungarian sociologist, Elemér Hankiss said each person should find a way to turn their life into a destiny and I have been pondering a lot about what he could have meant by this. I have just read a book that seems to have given me an answer: read the next post if you want to know more…